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Thanksgiving is all about food, football, family and, let’s not forget, thanks.  We have all participated in the ritual at Thanksgiving dinner of sharing what we are thankful for.  My family will forever be on the top of my personal thankful list.

My Mother’s holiday dinners are legendary in my family.  She was famous for her innocent double entrendres that made her blush when pointed out, and made for enduring Thanksgiving stories.  She was also famous for the one memorable Thanksgiving when a pre-dinner martini turned her into a football quarterback with a bad passing arm.  When she served the mashed potatoes, the bowl went flying across the table into someone’s lap. 

My memories of our family holiday dinners are filled with laughter and the essence of belonging.  Here are some ideas for rituals you, your family and friends to give thanks for your treasure chest of relationships:

1.  Ask each person at the table to choose someone present at the table and thank him or her for something specific that they did, said, influenced or supported in the recent or not so recent past.

2.  Ask everyone to share a memory of a past Thanksgiving.

3.  Ask each person to come with a letter, written beforehand to another dinner guest, thanking that person for something specific.  Take turns reading the letters.

4.  Create a Thanksgiving story, either true or fictitious.  Start with a beginning sentence to the story and as you go around the table, each person adds the next sentence.  Tape record so you can play it at the next Thanksgiving dinner.  Examples of beginning sentences: “I called my mother the week before Thanksgiving to tell her…..”, or “As I was driving toward home for the Thanksgiving holiday, there appeared on the side of the road….”.  Have fun with this.

5.  Honor and thank your ancestors: Set the table with pieces inherited from your forbears and then ask each person to give their memory of the ancestor and characteristics they believe the ancestor possessed that influenced their lives.

6.  Ask parents and elders to tell stores and memories of their elders, as far back as they can go.

7.  Write a collective poem.

8.  Ask the question: “What does family mean to you?” What are the rights, obligations, joys, privileges or burdens of family.

9.  Create a family cookbook.  Ask everyone to bring a dish with the recipe printed on enough cards or paper for everyone at the dinner.  Provide a binders or books and other supplies for everyone to quickly create their own cookbook.  Then add to it each year.

This is such an important part of a healthy relationship - giving thanks, that it is too bad there is only one day a year that celebrates it.  It is a day to connect, cultivate and celebrate the relationships of your life as well as all that you did to support and love the people in your life.

Linda Ann Smith
Speaker, Author, Ritual Expert
Power of Rituals